I’ve always been lucky, you could say. Or ‘blessed’ as my Mother often corrected. But she believes everyone is blessed. She also believes that everyone always has a Guardian Angel watching over them. I didn’t think such a thing was possible, at first.

I was running out to grab my weekend snacks and an energy drink or two. I had a lot of gaming to catch up on, less sleep the better. I was heading to the gas station a few blocks from home. It wasn’t even dark out yet. The sun was still shining down its cancerous waves. I got to the intersection, hit the crosswalk button and wondered if the endless stream of cars would disperse anytime soon.

“Wait…wait…wait…”

“Yeah, I am,” I said to the automated voice from the crosswalk post. I know it couldn’t hear me, but the blazing heat and its constant ‘voice’ was getting on my nerves. Finally, I was given the signal to cross. I should have probably checked for oncoming rogue cars, but I was already looking forward to some relief from the sun. The roar of an engine caught my attention as I made it to the middle of the crosswalk. I’d say I became a ‘deer in the headlights’ but things happened too quickly for me to even process what was about to happen. I only know that confusion and disbelief shifted throughout my system. Then a thought bubbled to the surface: what the hell…?

I must have been smashed to large chunks of meat as everything went dark, quiet, painless, even. That wasn’t too bad, I thought as I drifted into oblivion. Within a span of a second and an eternity, my senses started to function once again.

At first, it felt like I was bobbing like a dingy in the water. I even thought I heard the crashing of the ocean. As a few more seconds passed the waves turned back into the roar of passing cars. My body was rigid, cold, and aching.

“Hey!” I heard a voice yell out.  I opened my eyes and quickly closed them again due to the blinding sun still resting in the sky. I sat up and tried again. Much better this time.

“Hey, kid! You alright?” The same voice yelled only closer this time. I turned towards it. It was a hairy man in one of those smart cars. He made it look like a one-seater as his mass nearly filled the interior.

“Uh…yeah,” I got to my feet and looked around, “Yeah, I’m alright.”

“You should count your blessings, kid. You nearly got hammered there.”

“Oh, yeah. Thanks,” I was bewildered. I waved the man off as the light changed and he went on with his day. I looked around once again as the incident seemed to not affect anyone else but myself.

Between the rushing cars, back from the direction I had come from, I noticed a face staring at me. It was extremely pale. No, that wasn’t right. It was lit up. Like one of those plastic Santa ornaments that sit outside people’s houses. They sometimes have misprinted eyes and give off such an eerie feeling. That face was staring directly at me. At least, that’s what the direction told me. The face was nearly drowned out by that unnatural light it produced. I know it wasn’t the sun. The sun was almost dim, compared to it. I stared back in disbelief. Then a break in the line of cars revealed giant white wings behind the figure. It also had that unknown light source illuminating around it.

Everyone has a Guardian Angel that protects them, my Mother’s voice echoed within my head. Was what she had been saying all these years true? Was this my guardian angel? I’ve heard stories of similar instances, but just chalked it up to people not understanding how they truly got out of the situation, claiming it was the work of God or Angels.

Now that I thought about it, how had I ended up on the other side of the road? Last I remember I froze while in the middle of the crosswalk. I know I didn’t run. What had happened? Why didn’t I realize this sooner!? I could have asked that man, he must have seen something! As I came back out of my head, I realized I was still staring at that ‘Guardian Angel’. This shocked me. I would have thought it would have been done with me now. Hadn’t it fulfilled its job of protecting me? A shiver ran up and down my spine.

I turned around and headed towards the gas station trying to leave the uneasy feeling behind. Perhaps it will disappear now, I told myself. Walking into the gas station stung my skin from the rapid temperature change from sweltering hot to ice cold. I quickly purchased my desired items and headed back out to the drenching sun. My eyes stayed glued to the ground, I don’t know why I was scared to look up. There’s no way what I saw was real. It must have just been an illusion, a hallucination, or… something due to shock.

With a deep intake of air and another small pep talk, I lifted my head up. My eyes slowly followed, landing on a long line of cars. Relief washed over me as I didn’t see the tall glowing figure. The light changed and the line of cars quickly dashed forward. Then, I saw it once again. It had moved, hiding behind a large U-Haul. My skin prickled. It was staring at me again. I swear it even tilted its head to the side, mocking me.

Once again, the lights changed and I know had the opportunity to cross. Should I even risk going near it? Do I find an alternate route and bypass it? Would that matter? What if it moved again? My head swam with options and questions. A breath, that I didn’t realize I was holding in, escaped when the lights changed again, effectively lengthening the time I had to decide.

Or so I thought. The light was already changing and the blinking white-blue walking icon was beckoning me over. My feet started pounding on the pavement. I’ll just run right past it! I closed my eyes and exerted as much energy as I could to run faster. When I opened them again, I was well past the stream of cars. I wasn’t very far from my apartment either. Chancing a glance over my shoulder, I saw it again. It was turned towards me, head tilted just a bit farther now. I ran the rest of the way to my apartment building, up the stairs, and straight to my door; nearly slamming into it. I closed the door behind me just as quickly as I entered into it. I took a few moments to compose myself and wipe the sweat from my face.

I spent the next several hours mindlessly engrossed in defeating virtual enemies on my computer screen. One too many failures on my end caused my frustration to take full force. I exited out of the game with a furious click and sat back in my chair. Rubbing my hands over my face, I could feel the pressure of sleep on my eyelids. With a sigh, I took off my headphones, that had turned my numb ears into splintering needles, and chugged down the last half of my energy drink. I got up with a few popping bones and headed towards the bathroom to relieve myself. I dragged my feet as I approached my bed.

I awoke with a groan as sunlight penetrated through my eyelids. I rolled over and pulled my blanket over my face trying to get back to sleep. My face grew hot and sweaty. With another groan, I shoved the blankets away and sat up. A few minutes laterI was ready and walking out the door; if throwing on some pants and a beanie constitutes as ‘ready’ that is. There was two gas station cheeseburgers, a pack of skittles, and a large soda calling out to me. As I was stepping out of the complex building I stopped in my tracks. That glowing figure was standing at the end of the parking lot. Am I…hallucinating? I thought as I broke out into a sweat. I took in a deep breath and rubbed my eyes. My exhale was cut short as another resident bumped into me as they exited from the door.

“Oh, s-sorry!” The woman said stopping to check I was alright.

“Do you see that?” I blurted out, looking at the Angel. The woman gave me a startled look and she hesitantly looked towards where my eyes were glued.

“Oh, um…n-no. I don’t see anything.” She took a step back, tightening her grip on her large purse and continued to walk away from me, giving me small glances all the way to her car. I flickered between her and the Angel, but eventually my eyes settled on that glowing mass. Several minutes must have passed as my eyes started to sting and water. My legs ran me back into the building, up the stairs, and right back inside my apartment. My body throbbed and I fumbled for my pocketed phone.

Roughly an hour later I was in a small antiseptic smelling room. There was a small sink and cabinets in the corner. Large glass jars filled with cotton balls, wooden sticks, packaged needles. A large poster on how to administer CPR was hanging across from me.  The white tissue paper crinkled as I readjusted my fidgeting frame on the stiff examination bed. After a slew of basic check-ups from a nurse, I was left alone to wait.

“Hello?” A muffled voice called after a few quick knocks on the large metal door, “Hey there! I’m Doctor Simmons. What seems to be the problem today?” A plump, dark-skinned, gray-haired man introduced himself as he entered the room.

“I…I had an accident…the other day.” I started, suddenly wanting to back out of telling this man what I was seeing. Maybe I should have waited longer.

“Oh?” He prompted, settling down with a large squeak of the computer chair kitty-corner to me.

“I…was almost hit by a car. I thought I was. I don’t know, I just woke up on the sidewalk. I-I think I hit my head,” I more questioned than stated.

“Are you experiencing any pain?” Doctor Simmons asked, heaving himself out of the chair and took the three small steps towards me.

“N-no…” I watched as he pulled on a pair of white latex gloves. He placed his hands on the back of my head and proceeded to search from there.

“Well, I don’t feel any bumps. Are you experiencing anything else?” He questioned after dropping his hands from my head.

“Umm…” Should I really tell him?

“No need to be embarrassed, I’m here to help you.” He gave me a reassuring smile.

“I keep seeing this…Angel.” There was no other way for me to describe it. I noticed the Doctor’s smile wavered for a second.

“And are you seeing anything else that is n–…supernatural?” I shook my head quickly, “How about voices? Do you hear voices or thoughts telling you things you don’t normally think about?” The doctor was no longer smiling, but staring at me with concern.

I knew he’d think I was crazy…this was a mistake. My legs fidgeted and my hands grew clammy. I had to get out of here. Before I knew it I was heaving the large metal door open and sprinting down the hall. I nearly knocked a nurse down as she was guiding a patient to their room. I bolted out into the lobby and scanned the room for my friend.

            “NO!” I let out a scream as my eyes were instantly drawn to the now familiar glowing mass standing in the middle of the room. I booked it out of the building, giving up on finding my friend. As I ran down the side of the street a car quickly pulled up next to me and I heard my name being shouted.

            “What happened, man!?” My friend called pulling over as he saw me stop. I placed my hands on my knees and panted trying to regain my breath. “Dude!” My friend said, now walking over to me.

            “J-just take me home.” I exhaled giving a pleading look. I was quickly led back to the car and chauffeured back home. I rejected my companions offer to keep me company, stating that I would call when I was ready to talk. I spent the rest of the day hiding in my room, trying to distract my thoughts from that Angel. It didn’t work too well. I shouldn’t be scared of an Angel. They are supposed to be saviors, protectors, right? I get a sense of panic when I see it. I get a sense of panic when I don’t see it. My carnal instincts tell me to run, but my brain tells me to watch it.

So, that’s what I did. The next several days I watched it from my window. It was making its way closer to me until it was standing on my balcony. The only thing separating us was a thick piece of glass. I stared up at its face and it, down at mine. My eyes constantly burn, whether from its light or my refusal to blink, I was unsure.

Something new happened today. The sky started to grow dark and Heaven cried down. The Angel grew dim and faded until it disappeared from my sight completely. I didn’t know if I should be in shock or pleased. This was the first time that it left before dark. I was suspicious of it needing the sun as a light source, but this almost confirms it for me. Every encounter I’ve had with it there was always a stream of sunlight on it. I’m willing to try anything at this point. I took the opportunity to get supplies.

Before long I had all my windows covered with thick, dark, heavy curtains. I even stapled them to the wooden panels along the windows for extra measure. My apartment now had no source of natural light entering into it, which means that Angel wouldn’t be able to get in either. The dark made me feel safe.    

This only lasted for a few days. I awoke one night from my hallway light shining through my closed bedroom door. I thought I might have not even turned it off to begin with, but then my door started to silently open. The pale yellow quickly turned to that scorching pure white blaze.

 “How did you get in!?” I demanded springing up into a sitting position. Of course, it didn’t answer me. For the first time I saw a portion of it move. Long shining extremities started to reach up along my bedroom wall. In a panic, I stood on top of my bed and jumped with all my might. I smashed my clenched hand through the light bulb on the ceiling. I let out a yell as glass and blood sprinkled down to my bed. Plunging from the bed I snatched up an old t-shirt from the floor and wrapped my bloody hand with it. My eyes were already burning from that Angel’s light. They had just finally started to feel better again. I can’t take that pain again. I thought the darkness would take care of that Angel, but I was wrong. A small lamp on the other side of my room clicked on. There it was. Shining brighter than ever. My free hand was already reaching for the solution. I let out throat-shredding screams as I punctured and slit my irises over and over. I saw red then black.

I became conscience some time later. It felt like I was in a void. Everything was throbbing, particularly my head. There was something tight around the top half of my head. I reached up to touch it, it was soft and I could feel small grooves. Then I noticed another feeling or lack of a feeling. There was no weight behind my eyelids. I couldn’t feel if the gel filled spheres were moving.

“Honey!” I heard my mother call from a short distance away. I lowered my hands and listened as her frantic footfalls approached me. “What happened!? Why did you do this?” She asked me grabbing ahold of my arm.

“Now, now, Ma’am. Rushing your child to answer so soon after waking up is not a good idea.” This was a deep, but concerning voice.

“No, it’s alright.” I stated, “I couldn’t bare to see that Angel any longer.” My mother questioned me, but that was all I was going to tell her. The Doctor explained to me that I did too much damage to my eyes, that it was more beneficial to remove them then to risk infection. He also explained to me how I’d need to re-learn how to live and ‘read’ with my impairment. That was alright with me. My eyes no longer hurt and my new dark world made me feel safe.

These last few weeks were the best I’ve had since I could remember. I had to be under someone’s supervision at all times and go through rehabilitation, but that didn’t bother me. I saw nothing and that made me happy. A few more weeks went by and I was able to be on my own for very short periods of time and overnight. I awoke to a searing pain in my eye sockets and an explosion of light took over my darkness. “No…how…?” I whimpered as I stared up at the full winged Angel. Wait…it’s wings. This time, I was able to see more of it. The wings looked wispy. I looked closer and I could make out distorted faces within the ‘feathers’. The Angel was standing over me now. The ‘wings’ spread out and they slowly started to envelop me. I heard tiny cries and groans from the faces calling for help that would never come. I let out my own scream as I saw my new fate.